On a Personal Note

by Abby Hawkins

I sometimes wonder what message I might have for men in business leadership. I am not a man, not a business person, and not in leadership. I try to think about what to write that isn’t too girly or too irrelevant to executives. But everything the Lord seems to have put on my heart lately, all the comforts and mercies he has shown me, have seemed so personal. But, one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies (which is actually very much about business) is, “whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.” 

You’ve Got Mail is a 1998 film, written and directed by Nora Ephron, starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. It is set in the fall in New York City’s Upper West Side, and October is the perfect time of year to watch it. Tom Hanks plays Joe Fox, a third generation executive in a large book “superstore” chain called Fox Books (think Barnes and Noble) and Meg Ryan plays Kathleen Kelly, a second generation proprietor of a small children’s bookstore called The Shop Around the Corner. Fox Books comes into the neighborhood (around the corner) where Kathleen’s store is and eventually puts The Shop Around the Corner out of business. For Kathleen, the whole ordeal is devastating, not just financially, but in so many other ways. She not only loses her business and her livelihood, but also a connection to her mother (who has passed away), her childhood, her community, and ultimately, herself. Some losses are so monumental that they leave us questioning our own identity on some level. As she tries to comfort herself with the mantra “it’s not personal; it’s business,” she finds herself at a loss. It is personal to her. “And,” she asks, “what’s so wrong with being personal anyway?”

Loss is personal. Grief is personal. Life is personal. Maybe you, like Kathleen (or like me) have walked through some kind of loss over the last several years. Just a few of the things I have walked through and watched friends walk through come to mind – becoming empty nesters, going through divorce, starting a new career, changing churches, moving. A lot of these transitions come in packages. If you’ve recently graduated, you might find yourself moving, changing churches, and starting a new career all at once. And while the next thing may be really exciting (Kathleen has lots of new career opportunities), saying goodbye to the old thing also means there is loss – an old way of being is no more. 

Fortunately, Nora Ephron does not leave us or Joe and Kathleen there. And fortunately for us, the Author of our stories does not leave us there either. On a particularly hard day a couple of years ago, a very dear friend looked at me with teary eyes reflecting the tears in mine and said, “Your story isn’t over. The Lord is still writing your story; we just don’t know what’s next.”

There isn’t time or space to tell you all of the things the Lord has shown me over the last couple of years. But I can tell you, he begins by being personal. So often, I feel like I’m just part of the collective you, part of the “y’all” so to speak, and that because I’m not a leader or otherwise distinguished, that my story is unremarkable. Sometimes I wonder if there might not really be anything next. Kathleen feels this way, that her store and her life is somewhat unremarkable. When we lose something that felt like it was part of who we were, but the world keeps right on going, it can make us feel small and insignificant. But we are remarkable to our God. As my pastor said recently, we are individual works of art by a Master Craftsman. We are not his rough drafts, but very intentionally and expertly designed. Here are some of those remarks, those very personal things that he has to say to us and about us:

He has called us by name and we are his (Isaiah 43:1). 

He delights in us and rejoices over us (Psalm 18:19, Zephaniah 3:17).

He will never leave us (Deuteronomy 31:8, Joshua 1:9, Psalm 23:4).

He gives us his hand (Isaiah 41:10, Isaiah 42:6).

He carries us (Isaiah 46:3-4).

We are precious to him and he loves us (Isaiah 43:4).

This I know, that God is for me, and for you (Psalm 56:9).